Day thirteen - what have I learned?

On this day I am thinking that I have learned to know my body a little better. This morning I woke up and knew what i weighed and how I felt about health. My beliefs about dietary habits has not really changed. I'm not more in tune with eating healthy, I am tired of it. I want a steak, medium rare, as a speak. But I knew when I got on the scale that I would either see 207.5, at best 207. In thirteen days I would say I probably lost something like 4 or 5 pounds if i consider don't count the water weight loss, which I will gain, undoubtedly, after this project is over. Even so, I woke up and realized that I knew when my body felt lighter than the day before. Focusing so heavily on how my body feels got me to realize that maybe my body operates on different beliefs, although they are beliefs I was always in tune with. The dietary thing is still a difficult one for me. I am still very angry, I realize. And I also see the nature of this anger and disappointment. It goes way back. And I will probably never be able to transcend it. My approach is to expect to be disappointed. That reality and my wishes do not correlate. All this to say, I am realizing my own weaknesses in a way i did not attend to them before. Still, five pounds is five pounds.